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How do I love Thee

July 1, 2010 1 comment

In these cynical times I doubt many will read about love but I thought I would give it a shot.

I enjoy showing my wife how much I love her. It is not an altruistic action though because of the deliciously good feelings I get from making her happy. There is nothing better than being able to surprise Sarah with the little things in life that she likes even if she might not know she likes them. Walking around Publix grabbing something I think she might fancy to create a microsuprise for her. Its like a game, trying to find new and creative ways to show her that I love her.  Not just that I love her but why I love her.

I think that’s a huge distinction that gets overlooked. Why do we love the person we are in love with? Of course you have big reasons, yea they make me feel safe, they are present, they help pay the bills, hold a job,  doesn’t beat me- all of these worthy, but baseline. A partner really needs to provide those basics to be considered a partner. But more than that, what makes her unique, special to you. What are the things that only you know about her, and how do you celebrate those intimate details. How do you show everyday that she is appreciated for all the things that make her more than the mom, the daughter, the wife! How do you demonstrate that she is the person that you adore before all others. If the answer is I don’t and i don’t really care, it may be time to examine where you are and what you are doing.

The strength of the relationships we have in life forge us. They bring us happiness, fulfill us and ultimately define our success or failure in life. No one is happy without a relationship. That might be a relationship with a diety, a pet, imaginary friend Steve, sibling, parent or if you are really really lucky someone that loves you. Because that is the essence of all that is important in the time we have between life and death.

Its an honor to make the person that makes me feel special feel special. To be able to take care of the one that takes care of everyone else. But its easy for me, I have one huge thing in my corner. I am head over heels, stupidly, lustfully madly in love with Sarah. So its such a pleasure to be able to show her how I know her.

And don’t get me wrong, we aren’t the Cleavers we have heated engaged discussion about everything. But its respectful and fun, I enjoy being able to provide some form of intellectual stimulation to this mental giant. Just like every couple we have our off days. But once we recognize a bad day in the making we talk it out. I think because of our separation we have gotten very good at that. What might be a 8 hour fight we compress into a 20 min thing that we try and fully vet before moving on.

And it works. I am loved. I love. My life is good. I am happy. The only thing that causes me real grief is coming to an end soon.

Do you love like this? If you don’t, wouldn’t you want to?

Words

June 16, 2010 Leave a comment

I wish the words would come. I wish they would flow like the waters over Niagara, but they don’t. They are hidden in the recesses of my mind, running from my fingers like shadows from light. I have things to say, ideas to express but when digit hits key all seem to abandon ship. If I cant write about something, I will write about not being able to write and hopefully in some strange magical way, I will write.

Darkness encroaches. Walls hum with bass. Familiar voices call from mesh covered boxes.  Pictures of friends past and present float through my mind. Memories fight for attention as my hand takes refuge under a chilly pillow.  A small bed made large by its emptiness. A lonely night.  The waft of the fan and creak of the house conjures ethereal hope of a homecoming as I slowly drift to a place that I can be with the one I love.