She’s getting older. Everyday she seems more and more adult. Today she helped me cook a casserole for her momma and there she is cutting the chicken, carefully stirring rice and I was just struck on how much joy this person has brought to my life. You talk about meaning, why are we here etc etc. Its for them. Its so we can leave a part of ourselves when we are gone. The experiences I have with my child continue to be epiphanic in discovering how I define life and love.
Ya know I had guilt for a little while becuase the day she was born i as more scared of her than anything else. Or maybe scared of what this path held for me. But nothing else in my life has changed me more than trying to be the person I need to be for her. I have become such a better man. Its almost as if every day I love her a little more and everyday I am suprised by that.
We are thinking about have more children. We talk late into the night about it. Pro’s Con’s what will happen to our plan and what will our plan be. But when looking at the things in our life that makes us happy, and gives us a lasting sense of purpose we see our daughter and wonder why wouldn’t we want that?